BEDA 16: Writings, Videos, and Bad Habits

So today it's not 2 in the morning... today it's 3 in the morning. Haha. But oddly, I'm not as tired. Probably because I haven't just been sitting here not really doing anything... but being busy. Well, kind of busy.

Ok. The first half of today was pretty uneventful. I woke up kind of late, it took me like an hour to actually get out of bed. And then I finally wrote this thing that has been kind of hanging over my head since the friday before break. You know that feeling? Where even when you're happy, you can't really ever be in a good mood because you keep being reminded by this THING that you can't get over being... nervous, anxious, or worried about. I don't know. Little things get like that for me.

So anyways. At school I'm in Young Writers' Society, and every year the club puts out this "literary magazine" thing. So I had to submit something since I'm in the club. But like... I really didn't like my submission, so the teacher said I could email her something during break to use instead. Now, those of you who've read past blog entries know, that I haven't really had a ton of free time just sitting in front of the computer. Well, not as much as usual during breaks anyways, for me at least. This was the first day I really had time to do it, so I decided I might as well. But it's been bugging me, I can't really... get it. I just, haven't been able to. For months. Just, ever since the writing website I used to go on shut down (ficlets), I haven't been able to do it. Just... I don't know. I can't explain it. It frustrates me. It frustrates me practically to tears sometimes. I just... the feeling just makes me want to rip my hair out.

Well, I wrote something. I don't know if I like it though. I don't know if I want people to read it.

Anways...
So then later on in the day my sister and I started filming a video. But then we had to stop because we had to go to dance. So that was... the usual. Hard.

After dance, my cousin (same cousin as earlier this week) came over, and is staying the night again (yay!). She's leaving to go back to her home tomorrow night though =[ The nights she wasn't here she was staying at our grandpa's house.

So anyways, from after dance to about 2:30 or 3 in the morning, we were making and editing the video. It's just a silly thing, but I'm actually kind of proud of it =D (I mean, come on, it took hours to do)
See, I have this bad habit of not admitting I'm proud of things. Like, for fear of other people not liking it or something, or people not taking it seriously, or something like that, I don't know, I kind of just wave it off. Hours of work. Whether it's something I've written, something I've made, something I've done, I'll just call it stupid. Say it's not good. Whatever. Beat the viewers to the punch I guess.
It's a bad, stupid habit. But I don't know, I do it, all the time. I mean, sometimes things really are bad or stupid, and I know it. But then sometimes I really actually like what I did. But, you know, it's easier to handle people's reactions if you act like you don't take it seriously in the first place.

haha, I'm getting off topic.
Video. We were just having fun =]
Here's the address if you want to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNj2vGSshoQ
There's no obligation to watch it if you don't want to though. Just, it's there if you happen to want to =]

goodbye! hope everyone has/had a great day! =]