I'm listening to Bright Eyes. this has nothing to do with the post. just can't think of a title. or a good one anyways.

Ok. I found the silver-lining. Well, I didn't just find it. It's basically the only thing I've been looking forward to about high school for... years. Starting over. Guess what? One person is going to know me at Sacred Heart. One person!! So I have a clean slate. I can be whoever I want to be. Make whatever name for myself that I want.

Starting over freaks me out too. I have to make friends. I suck at that.

But no one (except Drew) will know anything about who I am! It's a second chance.

I don't know how to explain this. I've been trying for the past like 13 minutes. But I can't really... I don't know. I'm not good at explaining my thoughts.

But the reason I've been scared- which is what I can't really explain- will be gone. I know, I shouldn't be scared to be myself, but just because you shouldn't be scared of something, doesn't mean you aren't, right?

There will be different reasons, of course. But I will be unknown, until someone gets to know me. Once again. I'm not making myself clear.

But. I will miss.. everything. You know that safe feeling? Maybe you don't. Maybe only shy people know that feeling. Or maybe just me. The one where you feel yourself cracking a shell when you're with the people your confortable with, and then going back into the shell when you're not. Everything is unknown next year, and I'll miss being around people I'm totally confortable being myself with.

That's incredibly selfish.

I"m so lucky to know you guys.

I"m not going through this again, ok? I'll miss you, and I'm never going to forget you. And I hope you know that by now because I'm not writing about it again.

And what's also incredibly selfish is that I hope you guys won't forget me, your stubborn, indecisive, selfish friend.