dun dun dun

So I feel like doing a blog post. I said I was going to go to bed on Plurk... I lied. mhahaha. Ugh. I feel sick. Like I'm gonna throw up. I feel clammy, and twitchy. I need to go to bed. But I felt like doing a blog post.

Wow. I really do make bad decisions.

I drank hansens, that didn't help. I can't believe hansens failed me. Actually I started feeling sick after the hansens.

ugghh.

I keep a lot to myself. eh. this is going to be hard to explain. I'm trying to decide whether I should attempt to or not. I already know it will be a failure, but I'm trying to decide if I should post that failure.

Oh well. Here goes.

I really do keep a lot to myself. Getting to know people, and opening up to new people, is hard for me. I like to keep to myself. Most of my thoughts never leave my head. A lot of my thoughts, I want to tell people, but, it wouldn't really work. Because they are only thoughts, not complete ideas. Just, half-ideas. And if I (and I don't have very good communication skills) try to explain them out loud with words, I won't do them justice. It won't make sense. And people will think I'm weird.

I mean, not you guys. You guys know me more, you're used to me saying things that don't really make sense (um, if that makes sense. no pun intended.) But other people, they'll look at me like I'm crazy. And I don't really blame them. I mean, I have these thoughts that are trying to come out as ideas, but I'm the only one who can communicate them, and I can't do it.

uuuugggghhhh

This happens so much, especially on this blog. I try to say something (or type something), but I can't make it make sense. It makes sense in my head, but then I say it (or most of the time type it) and it makes no sense at all. It's just rambling. I mean, I guess it kind of makes sense, but it's not what I wanted to say.

Oh well, I'm just going to post this because I have to be up in 5 hours and I feel sick.

ugh. why do I let myself stay up until 2 when I have to get up at 7? Why self, why??
I feel like golum/smeegle (sorry I can't spell). Fighting with myself. It happens a lot. I actually wrote a ficlet about that.

OMG. quote. "I feel something, a slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me." -Legolas, The Return of the King (only in the movie, according to my dad) (my dad also said that it took him around 3 times watching the movie to accept that party scene. in the movie.)

ummm. bye.