This roller coaster is making me sick... I want to get off now
Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down with no breaks in between.
I'm really happy... really excited... really optimistic... smiling... laughing... hugging . . . then comes the down part
I'm sad... I'm angry... I'm worried... I'm paranoid... I'm shaking... I'm crying... I'm second-guessing...
And it seems to never stop.
This isn't new, no, the new part is feeling sick about it.
Every time I feel the bad part coming...
I'm shaking, my throat blocks up, my stomach hurts, I feel like I'm going to puke, I don't want to eat
I'm nervous.
I'm so behind in school... I can't concentrate with all of this.
It's mostly in my head, but I live in my head.
I only have so many hands.
Finals.
a lot of late work...
It's 11:44
that's my time.
I don't know.
I think I just need to quit all of this for right now.
It's 11:45 now.
Anyways, just wanted to say, I don't think I should be hiding behind a different blog. I think everything I need to say I should be able to say on here.
because this isn't for anyone else.
this is for me.
I'm done monitoring what I say on here.
god, memememememememe.
do whatever you want.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
this is my only number
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
4 comments:
yeeesh. i know what you mean. life is like a rollercoaster that you're really pysched for, but then in the middle you start thinking "i hate this".
but yeah, exeter is lovely and so was my "not-date". i wish you could meet him. you guys would love richard to pieces.
if it ever gets to be too much, you can talk to me....or any of us. Hopefully things wont be as bad anymore
I want to give you a hug. If I could this very second I would. But I can't, and that is really hard for me to accept, because I really want to wrap my arms around you, and I can't.
So I'll communicate through words... even though I truly hate this form of speaking with words:
I don't know what is wrong. I don't need to. I will hug you anyway, the moment I see you.
What is there really more to say? I hate using words, and all I want to do is be silent and sit with you.
i feel bad. my comment is soaked in selfish delusions. you might not read this, but forgive me for being so completely focused me and...well, me, that i didn't offer up the proper amount of warmth and support.
we love you.
love, love, love...
Post a Comment