Day 2- damn spider.

Okay so I'm late. Second day of BEDA and I'm already missing days. Oops.

The reason is actually pretty pathetic. I'll get to that in a minute.

First of all, yesterday (day 2) was really fun! My friend Harry and I had a Doctor Who Season One marathon. And we made a TARDIS cake! It was pretty awesome. Not much to say about it, we basically just sat and watched tv all day :D but it was Doctor Who, so definitely not a waste of time. Season two marathon will be happening shortly.

Okay, so then I got home at like 10. And I go to my computer and start checking all the websites right, and I was going to write my blog post around that time. But then after like 15 minutes a spider literally drops right next to me, onto my desk, and like starts crawling really fast and out of sight. Now I'm like deathly scared of spiders. Not your normal teenage-girl-scared-of-bugs type of scared. Like Ron Weasley scared. I just... god. It's pathetic, but it's true. I should point out that I had a MASSIVE headache, which had been building up all day. So I was a little like distraught anyways.

So I like freak out because as long as I can still see the spider, I can get someone to get it for me. But I couldn't see this one, and it had been crawling really really fast. And I knew my dad wouldn't try hard to look for it. So I like stood in my doorway for about a minute, and then I went to my parents room. But they were both like laying down watching tv, and my dad had a washcloth on his head which meant he had a migraine. But since I did too, I wasn't that sympathetic. Which I know isn't fair to him, but still. Anyways, I didn't want to make them mad so I just left.

And then I had no clue what to do, because of that damn spider. I sure as hell wasn't going to go anywhere near my computer or desk, because that's where it had been. And I was pissed because of that, and my head was pounding. So I grabbed a blanket and decided to go sleep on the couch, even though it was 10:30 and I had been in the middle of doing stuff on the computer, not ready to go to sleep at all. And of course I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried because for one, I was still thinking about the spider, and two because of the headache, and three because it was like four hours before I usually go to bed.

So like an hour later, when I was actually starting to fall asleep, I guess my mom decides to go see why I went into her room. I guess she just guesses there was a spider in my room, because she goes into my room and starts yelling at me FROM MY ROOM (instead of fucking walking over to WHERE I AM) about how she would have gotten it for me. I was kind of trying to yell back to her that I didn't know where it was, but I couldn't really yell because by then my head seriously hurt like HELL and I had been fucking asleep by then.

And then she just goes crazy and decides that THIS is a great time to start yelling ACROSS THE HOUSE at me about how my room is a mess and she keeps telling me to clean it and that's why the spider was in my room and that I never listen to her and blah blah blah. what the fuck mom. what the fuck.

And THEN she like stomps over to the kitchen, which is right next to the living room where I was trying to SLEEP, and starts doing DISHES as fucking loudly as she fucking can. Because she likes being a bitch I guess. I mean, it's midnight. And she was pissed at me. So she starts... doing dishes? Right next to where I'm sleeping?

So I'm laying there covering my head with the blanket, my head pounding, and I'm fucking furious with her right but I'm trying to sleep and my head is pounding harder than ever and I'm like almost crying I'm so mad at her and it's all because of a fucking spider.

And that's why I didn't write my blog post last night.

Day 1- Firsts

Right now, it's August 1, 11:08 PM. The first day officially of BEDA/VEDA. I wasn't going to do it. I wasn't even thinking about doing BEDA, but I was toying around with the idea of doing VEDA (vlog every day august, instead of blog). But then it got late and I forgot about it. And then suddenly I was here, on blogspot, for the first time in who knows how long, and I was like, hey! Why the hell not. No one reads this blog anymore, which I find really really relieving. Like, FINALLY. Fuck it, I'm writing whatever I want :D

So today has basically been the most uneventful day of summer. Great day to blog about, right?

But yesterday on the other hand, was extremely eventful. So I'll start there.

Basically one of the owners of the dance studio threw a huge party for her daughter's baptism. When I say huge I mean HUGE. Her and her sister are both, well, rich. She had the party at her sister's house, which is really nice and really really pretty, and has a huge front yard. The party was themed Alice in Wonderland, which was the show we did in February. There was a teacup spinning ride and everything. Basically, a bunch of us in the Senior company preformed a couple of the scenes from the show. And I, was a giant teapot.

After the whole dancing-in-front-of-like-two-hundred-people-in-a-huge-foam-teapot part was over, the party actually ended up being fun. We all changed into normal (formal) clothes, we ate and got henna and Greek danced (OH PA! except no one actually said that) and regular danced and rode a couple times in the teacup ride :D

Also, Dakota Fanning was there! Her and her family are friends with the owners of the studio (who were throwing the party). And she saw me... in a giant teapot. Great.

This summer so far has gone by SO FREAKING FAST it's ridiculous. It's also been a weird summer, because I haven't travelled at ALL, and the weather has been really strange. But it's also been really fun, really just chill and laid back. Like busy but relaxing at the same time.

There have been a lot of firsts. First time Greek dancing, first time paintballing, first time doing vodka shots and drinking beer, first time meeting a TON of my heroes aka YOUTUBERS, first time going to a Con (VidCon), first time waiting in line for over two hours for a picture with someone, first time driving with a license, first time going to so many concerts in one month (like 6), first time having my eye swollen shut, first time singing in a rock band (even though it was my dad, and some uncles and cousins), first time ending something that was so big in my life, first time realizing I was more alone than I realized or wanted to be, first time telling that to someone, first time accepting it.

Today, I had planned on either finishing one of my summer reading books, or starting my summer homework. I did neither. But I did read about 50 pages. I'm going so slowly with my work and reading this summer because of this one book I have to read for AP English. I can't stand it. But I suspect I'll write more about that later on this week, when I'm trying to get through that blasted book.

And I think I'll end here. It's now 11:46. I think I'm going to curl my hair and watch old Doctor Who episodes from the classic series. Curl my hair because it looks terrible right now but hopefully it'll look okay tomorrow curled(ish), even after sleeping on it. And Doctor Who because it's basically the BEST TV SHOW EVER and since I've long since finished watching the new series, I've been going back and watching the old show, the one that started back in the 60's.

Random Awesome Video of the Day:

there's honestly no point in having this anymore

"you smell just like Christmas"

Hi. Hello blog, how are you. Long time no see. I'm a little rusty.

I'm blogging again because Aren, my awesome blogger friend, said I should, and because I'm probably going to be staying home all day and since I've started posting on other websites I've been neglecting too (flickr, ficly) I thought maybe I should here too.

It's 13 hours and 46 minutes into 2010, and basically all I've done is sit in front of the computer, eat, text, and sleep. Great way to bring in the new year.

ok I'm really really rusty with this whole blogging thing... I'm not sure I even remember how to.

What do I want in 2010?

Truthfully, I'm scared to make my expectations too high. I think I just want to let happen what ever happens. I don't know. Maybe... do instead of think about doing. Does that make sense?

These past couple months have been stressful and crazy with a bunch of different things going on... but also pretty amazing. Some pretty awesome things have happened that I've been waiting for forever basically. And that's all I have to say about that =]

This winter break has been such a relief. Like, everything making my life stressful and crazy and busy all the time stopped for these two weeks, and it was like I could finally breath, you know? So basically this break I've been doing almost nothing productive, watching a ton of doctor who and random movies on the internet, spending too much time on the computer, staying up late and sleeping in, and spending time with the people I want to spend time with.

Oh! Also for christmas I got a new camera that's really super awesome so I've been taking a ton of pictures.

Also I got my hair dyed a while ago, like this really dark redish almost purpley color. It didn't turn out really how I wanted it to, but I liked it nonetheless. Since then it's faded into the color that I originally wanted it to be though... (like closer to brownish red instead of blackish red) so maybe the guy that did it knew that would happen. Or maybe I'm just lucky =D

You know what I love? Udon. Like I just can't get enough udon. Probably my all time favorite food ever. Closely followed by indian food and chow mein (but not together of course) and then spagetti. I'm going to stop talking about food now. It's kind of making me hungry.

I've started driving. I'm a little late, I've been 16 since August, but better late than never I guess. I got my permit near the end of October, and since then I've driven with my dad in the Rose Bowl parking lot, but I hadn't actually driven in the streets or anything until I had a lesson with a driving instructor last week. So basically she drove down from my house (because where I live is really hilly and curvy and not good for someone who's never driven before) and then pulled over and we changed seats. I was so scared- probably unreasonably scared, for like the first 5 minutes driving on the actual road. But it's weird, after those first moments my fear completely went away. I'm actually kind of excited for the next lesson =D

You know what soundtrack I can't get over? The 500 Days of Summer soundtrack. I got it in the summer when it first came out (well, George burned it for me) and since then I've been obsessed. Every song is so good by itself but they still go well together as a whole. They're so different from each other but they go so well together. I just love it. Also, the Paper Heart soundtrack. I've had it on repeat all day. I love that one too.

I think for me 2009 was a music discovery year (along with other things). I came across and found a lot of music and the amount that I knew kind of exploded. Don't you just love when that happens? I love it. And it's not hard... music is like everywhere if you're looking.

Some pictures

-People-

George

family

friends

-taken by me-

-experiments-

Abbey

Kelly

me

all I know

I'm hurting and I miss you and everything is going so fast and it's scaring me and I don't have time to breath or to think and I think something is wrong with me and I can't get past this and I'm always like this and I don't think I know an inbetween between happy and sad and I'm confused all of the time and my head hurts and my legs hurt and I don't know why I can't just not be like this and I don't know what's wrong and I need things to just stop and I need things to make sense in my head for just once and everything needs to stop spinning and all I know is I MISS YOU like crazy

I miss you

no time to catch up, need to keep up

I'm getting lost in the music.
in the craziness of times like these.
tons of stress and no free time.
people. old friends, new faces.
lots and lots of new faces.
changes. new replacing old.
a never ending whirlwind of crazy, busy times.
no time to catch up, need to keep up.
colors and faces and places
and music.
only stopping when you hear the music.
and the the happiness you give me,
making me stop and feel,
making me stop and listen
to the music.
I'm getting lost in it





but I like it there

sometimes,

my heart hurts a little