I don't even know man

I guess graduating is just kind of weird.

Like I'm oddly sentimental right now and it's strange because I don't even really LIKE my class. Or like. I've never really thought of high school as something I've enjoyed. I just. I don't know. Like I'm going to puke. When the fuck did I change so much from when I started. Like I fucking grew up but I feel like a little kid. I mean I AM just a little kid, really. But I feel so much older than that naive little girl who used to write on this blog.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel. I can't stop feeling guilty. It's like I'm looking for things to be wrong. Honestly like all the time I just wanna be high so that these things will go away. Like I just fucking love weed and I wish I didn't have to sneak around so much to smoke it, that seems dumb to me. I just can't stop thinking about money and dependence and how no one seems to want to hire me and how I'm going to college for art but I feel like I'm gonna be wasting everyone's time and money and I don't know because I can't really trust my emotions anymore. And I can't stop thinking about food and how I hate it and how nothing ever changes. I just feel kind of numb and I really really want something to make me feel not numb anymore. I need to snap out of this because things are changing and I don't feel like I'm realizing that as much as I should be

I'm just whining ignore me

word vomit

I've been so absentminded lately.

Just kind of bored with everything.

Something needs to happen. I think. But if something did I probably wouldn't even notice, or like it.

It's like I don't even need ~substances~ to fuck myself up sometimes, but I do it anyway.

Cause I like it and fuck the ones who judge

I don't know where I'm going to be half a year from now, and that should probably scare me a little more. But I'm finding it hard to feel a lot of things currently. Or well. That's not really true at all. I don't know. Maybe just... fear?

Pierce said I was a space case and I got annoyed that he said that but I guess it's pretty fucking true.

You know, I'm actually in a pretty good mood right now.

This is usually the blog where I spend a long time writing and editing my posts, and where I write specifically about my life and it's happenings, you know, all the boring shit or whatever. Or not so boring shit. But you know, fuck it here's some word vomit for you now.

Christmas and Things

Hi. Let's skip the part where I say how bad I am about blogging regularly and jump right into the actual post, shall we?

So it's two days after Christmas and I'm sitting here in a towel (not even gonna lie), drinking some coffee and enjoying the empty house (for once). I definitely wouldn't be home if I had a car... but we'll get to that in a bit.

So far winter break has been an adventure. Mostly a good one. Started off the first night of break going on an actual adventure , trying to find a certain *event* in a sketch area of downtown LA with Pierce and Ian, kind of being followed by some cops, ending the evening at the Pantry, sleeping in my car (well trying to), and wandering around starbucks and petco at early hours of the morning with Pierce.

The rest of last week was just full of seeing family and friends and Pierce, some Christmas shopping and baking and just preparing for Christmas in general. Pretty low key, just relaxing you know. It's been nice. There's been a lot of tea and coffee involved. I do need my caffeine.

I've been making a lot of kandi! I think I'm getting pretty good at cuffs. My three year old neighbor saw mine in my room and wanted one so I made her a 3-year-old-sized mini cuff, it was pretty adorable. I should have gotten a picture of it.

Anyway so Christmas Eve and day were both... eventful. Christmas Eve was nice, my neighbor (the 3-year-old) came over and baked cookies with Kelly and I in the morning. She is the most adorable little girl... she legit looks like a pixar character. Big round eyes, roundish face, freckles, soft brown hair that like waves in just the right way, you know. She is so cute. It was so much fun.

And then later my family and I met up with some other families and we served dinner at this shelter like we do every year, which is always fun because the people there remember us from year to year, and they always get so happy. And then my family, just the four of us, actually sat down at a restaurant and all ate dinner together, which almost never happens. Which was nice.

Then later I picked up Pierce and we went to one of his family gatherings for a little bit. I really love his family, they're the nicest people. You know how when you meet someone's parents, that person starts to make more sense to you? Getting to know his parents over the past year (almost), it is SO true with Pierce. Just, so true. I don't know how to explain it.

Christmas morning was the same as always, my family sat by the tree and exchanged gifts. Then I went to pick up Pierce, and before I even got to the freeway, I got into a car accident. I don't really want to go into it, but basically I was an idiot. And I felt so bad... and now I don't have a car, which is why I'm sitting at home waiting for Ian and Pierce to pick me up later. But yeah. It was pretty bad. But it could have gone a lot worse if the other car had hit just a little farther back on the drivers' side, and I probably would be a lot more injured. So I'm just glad everyone is okay. But still... with expenses and insurance and everything... I'm just an idiot. But yeah. So that happened.

Anyway, the rest of Christmas was actually nice, apart from all the car crash jokes going around. We picked up Pierce and surprised my grampa, who thought he wasn't gonna see any of his family on Christmas. And then we went to my uncle's house for Christmas like we do every year, which again, was fun, apart from the car crash jokes. They mean it lovingly, haha.

Then we went back home and Pierce and I watched the long-awaited Doctor Who Christmas special! I thought it was... pretty good. Like it got really good in the last 10-15 minutes I feel like, but the rest was just okay. Adorable, but not great til the end. I don't know. It was very Christmas-y though.

Yesterday was fun, just chillin with Pierce and Ian and such. Today/tonight is probably going to be much of the same thing, which I'm looking forward to. We have a new spot that isn't the Crest, but is a mini-adventure to get to, I guess. I'll just leave it at that. Fun times, haha

This post has been long, so I'll cut it off here. I need to get better at blogging again, I feel like I probably just bored to death anyone who read this post. If you got through the whole thing, I congratulate you. You should let me know that you did :D

Stuck at the Crest, an Adventure

Just a little story time...

Pierce and I decided to take a drive up Angeles Crest last night, which we do a lot because it's close by. Angeles Crest is this highway that goes through the mountains, and driving through it, especially with the windows down and the music blasting, is such an awesome experience. Pierce and I go a lot, sometimes bringing along other people. But last night it was just us.

It was around 9 at night, and it was pretty cold and foggy, but the fog actually looked really cool up there, with the full moon and the wide open space just under us. We have this one turnout that we always go to, and it's pretty high up the Crest. Last night we decided to go and film some light show videos, but we were really dumb about it. Because for the videos we needed music... like my car radio... which means leaving the battery on... basically we're just idiots.

But okay. I swear it wasn't even on for that long. I've been with people who left their car batteries on for a lot longer than we did, and their cars were fine. We just... have really bad luck I guess.

So anyway we filmed a couple videos and then I turned the radio off and the car and took out the keys etc etc so the battery was definitely OFF for a long time. And we just chilled out there... and it was nice. Going to the Crest during the summer is one thing, but during the winter... whoa. It looked so cool. And it was just really peaceful, even though it was freezing cold.

But anyway at around 10 we decided to go back, and so we got in my car and got ready and stuff. But then, of course, my car doesn't start. It doesn't start multiple times. At first we thought the engine was cold, so we waited a bit and tried to like move the car in neutral towards the highway and away from the edge of the mountain, hoping that would help start the engine, but as we did that my headlights and the lights in the car started to dim and we realized oh fuck it's the battery. We're idiots. We drained the battery.

So immediately we turned the car off cause we figured that if the battery dies we're even more fucked, and tried to call someone to bring up jumper cables. But of course, we're in the mountains, and we have no service. So we were stuck in the mountains in the middle of December at 10 at night in heavy fog, freezing cold, with a car that won't start and no service to call.

We started waving people down on the highway. And we actually met some really nice people! No one could help us though. The big trucks that drove by definitely would have had jumper cables... but they were the assholes that saw us waving and didn't stop. So that was cool -_-.

By that time you couldn't see outside of my car windows because it was so foggy, and we probably would have thought it was cool under different circumstances. But we were both FREEZING. And okay I know it's Southern California and all... and maybe we're just wusses because of that... but whatever we were COLD man. We were just like in my back seat for probably 20 minutes cuddling for warmth thinking like... shit what I are we gonna do...

And then my phone vibrated and lit up, and we thought it was a message but it turned out it was just saying it was low battery. But that gave me an idea, and so we decided to try to send a text even though the calls hadn't worked before. And the message sent! And so we decided to try calling again, and somehow that call actually went through!

So we got a hold of Pierce's brother, and like half an hour later he came up, completely pissed at us, with jumper cables. By this time it was probably around 11:15. When my car started... so relieved. Just so relieved man. But yeah. So that was a thing that happened last night. Never ever leaving my car on just for the radio for that long ever again. I will not be a dumbass twice.

A POST!

Karen has posted and it's making me want to post! So here I go

Hi internet.

It's currently Thanksgiving break, I'm lucky enough to get the whole week off, which has been nice. The past two days have felt like summer again, which has been the best honestly. Spending hours in Pierce's garage with whoever else shows up, playing with lights and doing light shows, blasting edm, driving up the crest and spending hours at magpies... it has been great.

Pierce has gotten me so obsessed with gloving and edm, it's crazy. It started about a year ago, when Pierce gave me my first light show. We've gone to FNL, a glover thing kind of, a couple of times, but I sucked so badly back then that I was too scared to trade shows with anyone (not a very PLUR attitude I know, I'm sorry). I'm still not that good, but I've been practicing a lot! And edm... ah I love it. I first started becoming interested in that type of music sophomore year I think, but I didn't really know where to start until I started dating Pierce. But now... I don't even know man, I love it. Happy hardcore is blasting in my ears as I type. Well, not exactly blasting, but you know. Edm stands for electronic dance music, for those who don't know. Popularly known as "techno", even though technically techno is like a certain type of edm. But whatever, it's all good. Haha

Oh also for those who don't know...

THIS is gloving:

fucking sick light show

But now today it's time to buckle down and write some college essays... back to real life again. I've already submitted to a bunch of schools, so I've finished the common app, including the essays. But I still have to finish the UC essays, and then submit those. And also I have some supplements that I have to finish and submit within the next couple of days. And since I'm applying for art for a lot of places, I need to figure out how to send my portfolio and all that.

I'm kind of wondering if I'm going in over my head with art though. I'm constantly wondering if I'm even good enough, or if I'll like doing art all the time, especially art not in my area of concentration, enough to be doing it as much as I will be when/if I major in art next year. When I did the early college program in Chicago though, for three weeks art was all I did and I loved it so much. But that was just in my concentration, and that was just for three weeks, with no other major distractions in my way, except for the friends I made. Ahh I don't know. We'll see. This is mostly why I'm not really going the art college route, so that it'll be easier to change my mind if I want to. Ah I don't know. Honestly though, since I'm applying to a LOT of schools, and I don't really have any top choices, I'll probably end up going wherever gives me the most money/aid.

I just want to be done with college apps honestly, but I know I'm probably not going to be for a while. But after I finish this group of apps, I'm going to be concentrating on Solo Fete, as it's coming up in a couple weeks. Solo Fete is the show that my ballet/dance company puts on every year, where every member of the company gets a solo. Since I'm a senior this year, I get to have input in my solo. We finished it last week, and now I'm just working on performing it and perfecting it. I'm supposed to show it in class tonight. I love my solo! I'm really nervous for the show though, because this will be the first time that Pierce and some of my other friends will have ever seen me dance, and Pierce's mom is going too, and my dance teacher from school. Basically just a lot of people that I kind of want to impress... so it's nerve-wracking. But I think I'll be ready. I hope.

Ah I could go on and on, but I really do have to do work on college stuff. Goodbye internet and edm, it's time to focus. Haha

oh HEY

It's been over a year since I've blogged on here...

But this whole blogger family thing on facebook has made me kind of want to try it again.

Ahh haha I don't know.

I go on tumblr a lot though! Like the rest of the world.

Things have been... crazy. Solo Fete is in a little over a month, I really like my solo. College apps... alskjflskd oh dear. And I'm going on Kairos next week which should be okay I guess. I don't really like a lot of the people in my class though... bitchy to say but true. But we shall see.

In the time between when I last posted and now... ohhh boy things have changed. A whole lot. For the better though.

Yeah... definitely for the better.

Um so I kind of forgot how to do this. I'm going to go for now (lots of work to do), but I'll definitely (hopefully) be blogging on here again sometime soon.

=]

BEDA 29-31 The End

Soo... the first half of BEDA was pretty good at least, right?

Haha kind of. Well, I tried. I probably shouldn't even be writing this post either, but since it's the last day of August, I thought I probably should. Wrap things up a little.

So school has been CRAZY. Oh my god. I can't believe it's only the second week... I've had so much work already. People at school weren't kidding when they said junior year was tough. And I haven't even started up dance at PCB again yet...

I'm going to have like no free time this year. None.

I'm in the process of writing my first Bernstein essay write now, due on Thursday. They're notorious at my school. He is a really really hard but really really good teacher, and I'm in his AP class. So obviously I'm a little nervous about writing this paper. Plus I've struggled with it SO MUCH already, it's crazy.

Soo... I've had tumblr for a loooong time right? But seriously, this addiction is only getting bigger and bigger. I love it, and I've found friends and communities I love and I've become addicted to reblogging... just like everyone else. And this is probably only the beginning. I still like blogspot though. I use them for different things.

Okay so I just turned the fan off in my room, and now it seems so quiet. I don't know how I'm going to write with it this quiet. But I can't listen to music and concentrate either. Actually it might be a good thing that it's super quiet. As long as there are no loud noises in the rest of the house.

I don't really have anything else to say. I could probably think of more... but I really need to get going with this essay.

So... August will be over in a matter of hours. And so will BEDA, at the end of this post. It's been fun. Haha, I guess :D Thanks to anyone who read. See you (kind of) soon!

Days 23-28 Birthdays and Esther

Hey so. I just DON'T want to blog. I just don't. I haven't been able to at all this week because school started and I was sososo busy with homework and stuff. And then yesterday and today I just didn't want to blog. I can't bring up the energy. It's not that I'm tired... I'm just... not in the mindset to blog or whatever.

But BEDA is almost over and I feel like I should at least TRY to write SOMETHING.

Soo... school started. It's been hard. So much freaking work, and it's only been a week. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I'm going to be spending the whole day working.

I think I'm going to like this year in terms of school though. I mean, it's going to kill me. But I really like most of my teachers and classes, even though they're challenging. And I like driving to school and stuff, I like being in more control of my transportation and not having to depend on someone else for it.

Mockingjay came out and I've been sososo excited for it, and I have it but I haven't been able to read much of it because of school. But I'm trying. Slowly but surely.

John Green's birthday was the 24th. I always like to mention or celebrate in some small way when it's his birthday, since he's seriously had this huge impact on my life. Also, it's so close to my birthday, and it just feels like an important day.

The day after, Esther Earl passed away of cancer, the 25th. I saw what had happened on tumblr and twitter that day when I got home from school, and I was shocked. I'd heard about her and seen her around the internet, and watched a couple of her videos. But her death... I didn't think that it would affect me like it did. She really was an amazing person. I just... I have no words.

The day after that was my birthday, the 26th. At first it seemed like it wasn't going to be a good day, but then I ended up seeing some friends and it was fun, and I just kept thinking of John's birthday and then Esther and the nerdfighters and everything that had happened and how lucky I am.

It was a crazy week, full of a ton of mixed emotions, and no time to let anything sink in. It's all kind of a blur.

I'm happy for all of the people I saw and thankful for the gifts that I got for my birthday, and I'm thankful for the Green brothers and the nerdfighters and just for everyone in the whole community I'm a part of, and Esther reminded me of that.

And I never met her, but I'm never going to forget her.

Days 21+22

I missed yesterday. Oh well. I don't really care all that much at this point.

Okay so I love driving by myself! Like before I got my license, and even after getting my license when I drove with my parents, it was always like I was going to get critiqued or something. But driving by myself, it's like therapeutic. It calms you down. I don't know. Unless you're lost, then I'm guessing it's not.

Yesterday driving back from my friend's house it was dark outside and I accidentally got on the wrong freeway entrance. There are two really close to each other, going to I think the same freeway, but in opposite directions. So when I got on and realized I was going the wrong way, I had a mini heart attack that lasted for like half a second. And then I realized I still knew how to get home. Crisis averted :D haha

Yesterday was full of firsts! I'm not going to get into it though.

Also, okay so I got my hair redyed yesterday but he did it darker than usual and at first I didn't like it but I don't really mind it now. It's not really a big deal because it's still close to the same red, just darker, and after washing it a few times it will be back to normal. It's just the first time I ever dyed my hair (other than highlights) it was reeeeally dark and almost looked purple, and I really didn't like it. And I was nervous because I didn't want to like relive that. But it's not that color at all. And I got a lot of reading done at the hair place!

This morning my mom, Kelly, and I helped at this back-to-school event thing for HIV positive kids. Kelly and I served ice cream sundaes, it was fun! I didn't know anyone else there, but everyone was really nice, all the volunteers were groups from different churches or schools or something like that.

School starts TOMORROW. It's crazy. I finished all of my homework two days ago, but I have a lot a LOT of reading to do for the rest of the day. It's around five right now, and I plan on spending the last few hours of summer cooped up in my room reading. Or maybe I'll go to the park or something. And read there obviously. I don't know. Also I want to make these things for my binders but I have to finish this book before I do that.

Soo good bye now
:D

Days 17-20

soo..
sorry.
I missed, what, three days?
and this post is going to suck too

I don't know, maybe I should just give up. Nooo I won't do that. It doesn't really matter if I suck.

Okay so the past couple of days I've just been home and doing homework and other stuff. I've spent waaaay too much time on tumblr. But I have gotten a lot of reading and homework done! Two days left, and about 250 pages more to read, and two more articles to summarize. I'm going to do some of both after this post though.

I got a CAR! I'm so happy. My birthday is in like a week, so it's basically my present. We weren't sure if we were going to get one, but my parents found a good deal on a used car so we did =] It'll be easier on them, not having to always drive Kelly and I around. And of course I'm happy I have a car :D

School starts on Monday, and I'm probably just going to spend the last couple days of summer not doing a lot, just working and reading and stuff. Maybe see some friends. I don't know, nothing much. I'm definitely not excited for school to start, but it had to at some point I guess. The summer has been fun =] it hasn't exactly gone by fast, but not slowly either. It's always weird when something you've spent so much time looking forward to ends.

I'm going to go now because I have stuff to do.

bye!
:D

Day 16

Oh god. School starts so soon. It's crazy. One week from now. Tomorrow we have orientation. Kill me noowww D: I mean, school is okay I guess. Except for the crazy amount of WORK that is going to pile on top of me until I suffocate and DIE. Junior year. yaaaay

In other news, I actually did like half of my homework today! So yay for being productive :D I'm thinking tomorrow I'll do the other half, and then I'll just spend the next five days after that reading. And hopefully hopefully HOPEFULLY I'll finish in time.

My camera is no better than it was yesterday. It's like spazzing out and just... not working properly. I told my dad I think we should just go somewhere and hopefully get it fixed. That'll probably be expensive though. That damn ENERGY DRINK just had to spill in my bag...

Also, the chances of me getting a car are getting higher! My parents and I (well mostly my parents) have been looking at used cars and such, and today they went out and found some potential ones. It'll basically be easier for all of us if I have a car.

I have NOTHING TO SAY like ALWAYS. Because I'm BORING. I mean today I've just been listening to music and doing homework and watching youtube. Oh, and I played piano! That was fun.

10 days until my birthday!
So that's exciting

I'm going to GO now because this post just sucks. Hopefully tomorrow I'll actually think of a TOPIC or something

g'bye
:D

Day 15- work and tumblr and sorry I'm so BORING

I'm just not even going to give an update on my homework. It's just too pathetic to talk about.
Somehow, even though I was PLANNING on staying home all last week to do homework, I ended up barely at home and definitely NOT working.

Basically, I suck. End of story.

Haha soo today, I stayed home all day and managed to yet AGAIN not get anything done. I woke up this morning and went to video ministry. (Basically I help videotape church). And then I came home and went on the internet for a couple hours. And then I fell asleep, and didn't wake up again until like 6. Haha oops

I actually AM going to get some work done after this post though. I know I say that every time, and it's barely true half the time, but I actually am! I swear :D I have to watch this movie for APES and do work that goes with it. And I have the movie right in front of me, which we just rented from blockbuster about an hour ago.

I have nothing more to blog about. I am a boring person. Or at least a boring blogger. Also, a lazy one.

Also I've become addicted to Tumblr. Sorry blogspot, I don't mean to betray you or anything. But I have. And I mean, I've had a Tumblr for a looonng time, but I've always just been a casual tumblr person. But lately I've been spending more time on it, actually checking it like I check twitter (every day), and reblogging and stuff. It's not like I like it more than blogspot. It's just very different.

Alright I'm done. More tomorrow. Bye

:D

Days 12+13+14

I SUCK, I know. I missed two days. I'm terrible. And also I have no excuse. Day 12 I was home all day, trying to work. I just did NOT feel like blogging at all I guess, I didn't really feel like doing anything that day. And then yesterday I was out all day, but I could have written a short post or something that night. Oh well. Didn't happen. Oops.

Okay so yesterday I went to Universal Studios and city walk with some school friends! It was really fun. Also- I got a Doctor Who patch! Of like the logo of the classic series. I'm going to put it on my school blazer, even though I don't think we're allowed to. Fuck it, if we can put pins we might as well be allowed to put patches. And it's fucking Doctor Who :D

And I also got a Hunger Games tshirt! They had a whole section of Hunger Games stuff at Hot Topic, I'm surprised. I didn't know the books had gotten so popular. Speaking of which I'm SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR MOCKINGJAY! August 24th, two days before my birthday :D

And then today I went with some other friends to Venice Beach. It was funn =] it was an adventure. We kind of got in a car accident and had to wait on the side of the freeway for a looong time and I the whole time I was just trying to stay awake. Also- I rode in a police car!

Ugh a big energy drink spilled inside of my bag. Everything, including my bag, was covered in this like bright pink drink, and smelled fruity. And the worst part is my camera was in my bag. I checked inside of it and everything, taking off the lense and making sure it was all dry in there, which it was, but I'm still worried about it. It's not turning on. My dad has it right now and is trying to fix it I think.

And I REALLY don't feel like blogging right now, so I think I'm going to stop. I get really really nervous for some things that I shouldn't really be worried about at all, and right now I'm just like really anxious and like jittery and UGH it sucks. I kind of feel sick from it. I think I need to just sleep or watch something and not THINK until tomorrow, because I hate this. So I'm leaving. Bye

:}

Day 10+11- ADVENTURES and CELLULITIS

Alright so I missed another day. ssooorrryyyy. to the zero people reading this

Reason I missed: I was at my friend's house. No really I didn't go on the internet at ALL yesterday, except for like ten minutes on facebook at my friends house. And I slept over, and then spent like half of today over there too. Not that I'm making excuses or anything :D

And oohhh boy. It was a fun day-and-a-half. I don't really want to explain it all out but basically it was an adventure :D. It involved a LONG ASS HIKE through like the desert that none of us were ready for, lots and lots of sneaking around, lots and lots of illegal driving, sneaking out at night, GETTING CAUGHT sneaking out at night, waiting for Ryan to finish his FREAKING TACO while we were sitting there in the Jack in the Box parking lot getting in more trouble by the MINUTE, lots of yelling, a couple pissed off parents, lots saying sorry, lots of actually BEING sorry (and also lots of not meaning it at all), lots of silently LAUGHING our ASSES off, lots of "oh hellllllll naaaawwww" from Ryan, lots of bickering from Alex and Becca, lots of watching people fight from me. Haha but it was fun, which is all that matters right? hahaha :}

Also apparently I seem INNOCENT to people. Well, that actually doesn't surprise me. I mean I kind of am. Well, it depends. haha nevermind

Oh yeah and then the next day when Alex and I took the metro to LA we saw Gwen Stephani! We didn't go up to her or anything, we just saw her from like across the street in China Town. Still cool, right? I didn't know if it was her but Alex swears it was. Sooo haha guess it was :D

But anyways, I was going to try to write my day 10 post at Alex's last night, but then we got in trouble and I didn't really want to ask Alex if I could go across the house to the computer when her mom was trying to sleep.

ANYWAYS so what else?

Oh! Okay so about a month and a half ago I my eye got this infection, according to the doctor, called cellulitus. Which automatically makes me think of cellulite, but I don't think it's the same thing. It started swelling up a little one day and then the next day when I woke up my eyelid was seriously swollen SHUT. That's when I went to the doctor, and they told me it was cellulitis and gave me pills for it. It went away in a couple days, which was good because I had my dance show that weekend.

So I woke up this morning at Alex's and my eye, my OTHER eye, was a little swollen. It looked like how it had looked last time, on the first day when it wasn't that bad. But I kind of freaked out because I didn't want it to get as bad as last time, so after hanging out with Alex and all that, I went to the doctor. She gave me eye drops for it. So far it hasn't gotten any worse, whereas last time by this time it had gotten a lot bigger. So hopefully it just gets better and not worse from here this time.

Okay- school work review. Other than a little bit of reading at Alex's house, I've gotten almost NOTHING done since the last post. I have like 400 pages left of the last book I have to read, and haven't done any of the work. Tomorrow I plan on actually getting some stuff done. We'll -um- see how that goes.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. Soo um, bye.

:D

Day 9- SKINS and MUSIC and HOMEWORK

So the day is almost over... and I just haven't felt like blogging today. I don't really have anything to say.

Today I just stayed home and tried to read but I COULDN'T because my sister had friends over. They were so LOUD it was ridiculous. Here I am trying to read about multicultural America and I just hear SCREAMING and LAUGHING every two seconds from a bunch of about-to-be-freshmen. And it's useless trying to tell them not to be so loud.

Oh yeah! That reminds me! I finished the second AP English book. I really liked it! I thought it was really interesting. And it was a whole lot better than that stupid advertising book. Now I'm reading the book for APUSH. It's like 400 something pages and the print is TINY, and it's basically a summary of how immigrants from a lot of different places came to America. I think I'll like it, I like what I've read so far, I'm just worried about finishing it and finishing my APES work in time.

And yet, I somehow have plans for tomorrow that I didn't have yesterday. I should just quarantine myself until all my work is done. But... it's summer. And I haven't really done a LOT this month so far. I mean last month I did a lot more, which is why I have all of this work to do now. And why I just shouldn't go out. But when friends ask me to do stuff, I don't want to say no. Is that stupid? yeah. Will it cost me my grade? hopefully not.

Oh well. I have all of those hours where everyone else is asleep to work as a last resort. And during those hours, right before school starts, I'll probably look back at this post and want to kick myself in the face.

No, it won't get to that. I swear.
Oh god I am RAMBLING.

Next topic.

OH GUESS WHAT????? I discovered the Urban Outfitters free music downloads today. They have this thing where you can download all this music for FREE. Seriously I just got like 50 free songs. And the music is so good. It's a great way to find new good music and see what you like without having to buy stuff without knowing if you'll like it. Just go to the urban outfitters website and go to the music section. They have music mondays, which is five free songs every Monday, and they also have download links to download LSTN playlists for FREE.

I'm listening to the music right now.

THINGS I'M EXCITED FOR:
-my birthday! (august 26)
-FYF Fest (a music festival Sept 4th)
-school (which I'm simultaneously NOT AT ALL excited for)
-tooommmoorrrrooowww (I'll blog about THAT later)
ummm I don't know. OTHER STUFF

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh I don't know what it is right now, I just have all of this energy. I've been kind of working out for the past hour though. Maybe that's why.

Oh and I was watching Skins while doing that! I've been just rewatching certain episodes because I MISS it and can't wait for the new season!!! It's going to be a whole new cast, and a lot of people don't really like that. But last time the cast changed everyone was upset about it too, and now everyone LOVES that cast. So hopefully the same thing will happen. They announced the new cast a couple days ago, and they seem pretty cool. Also they're making a Skins movie! So we'll see the old casts again in that.

I'm going to do my hair because there's no way I could sleep right now. And maybe I'll read some. But probably not.

Umm. Bye.

:D

Day 8- I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of a title

After writing that post last night, I really WAS going to go read. Buut I don't know. I guess I just had a lot of energy. Or something. Basically I ended up just listening to wizard rock and dancing around my room for seriously like an hour. I haven't done that it like YEARS, so that felt pretty good. And then, I cleaned my room because I still couldn't sit still, and then I don't even remember what I did, just that it was on the internet. Probably youtube. And by then it was like 2:30ish, so I decided to actually get some reading done. But that didn't work, because I couldn't concentrate at ALL. I still had all this energy, but not even hyped up energy, just like my mind was still going a million miles and hour. So I stopped reading and just did other stuff until about 4:30, when I decided to try to sleep. And after what seemed like AGES, I slept. I guess screaming in your head "I CAN'T SLEEP I CAN'T SLEEP I CAN'T SLEEP" over and over again... gets you to sleep.

Anyways.
Long story short- I didn't get much reading done. I do however, have about 45 pages left of the book. Which I'm going to try to get through tonight.

Today was a pretty good day, I saw Toy Story 3 with my family, and then we went out and ate dinner. It was good because for once I didn't fight with ANYONE. Anyways, the theatre we went to was really cool. It's always been there, but I haven't actually been there since I was little. It's kind of different from a normal movie theatre, it's converted from an old really really big theatre. The room we saw Toy Story in used to be half of the balcony. It was neat. The movies it plays there are movies that have usually stopped playing in other theatres already. My dad says it's where movies go to die.

And, it was so cheap! The tickets were 2 dollars each, so basically paying for tickets for the four of us was less than paying for ONE ticket at most of the theatres nearby. Definitely going to be going there more often.

Uumm I can't think of much else to say. Okay something frustrating. I have to take this pills, right? And I take two a day. But I just counted how many there are left and it's an odd number. So. Um. Not sure what happened there.

Reading back over this, this is a REALLY crappy post. I think I'm just going to end it here. So long, fair blog, until tomorrow

Day 7- Flipped and Carney

Guess what! I got so much reading done last night after I wrote that post! I read like half the book! Soo yaaay for me :D

And then today... well I WAS going to get a lot of reading done. But one of those American Next Top Model marathons was on. Soo I watched that with Kelly (my sister, haha by the way). And read during the commercials. Or, tried to anyways. And then I read a chapter after the marathon was over and then Kelly and I went to see Flipped!

Now, let me explain. Kelly and I are deeply and emotionally attached to this book. Don't laugh. This is serious :D It's our childhood. As you probably know (whoever you are), I'm a big reader and always have been, ever since picking up Harry Potter in my second year of 1st grade (I repeated 1st grade). But Kelly isn't a big reader. I remember when I found this book, back in 6th grade (soo... 2006?) I found it at the annual book fair that my old school had. And I LOVED it, and since then have read it many many more times. Anyways, so back in elementary school I tried and tried to get Kelly into reading, recommending all of these different books to her, hoping she would love reading as much as her older sister (me). Most of the time with the books I gave her she read the first couple of chapters and then got bored with it, but with Flipped she actually read the whole book and fell in love with it (she was in 4th grade at the time). She still says it's her all time favorite book.

Kelly and I have just like cherished and loved this book and reread it over and over. And so when we heard that it was going to be a movie, we flipped out (haha no pun intended).

The movie lived up to both our expectations. It's really cute (which satisfied my sister), and it doesn't degrade the story to being just "for kids". I think it did the book justice, and the acting, from the kids and the adults, I thought was good. I'm happy =]

Also I like going to the movies with Kelly because we always get candy :D

Okay, so I don't have much else to say today really. I plan on getting a lot more reading done before I go to sleep. It's 10:36, the night is young.

Okay one more thing. There's this band called Carney, and I'm absolutely in love with and OBSESSED with them. I have been ever since like April, when I went to one of their concerts at the El Rey in LA. It wasn't a very big concert, but oh my god. It was probably one of the best concerts I've ever been to. And I LOVE concerts, so I make sure to go to a lot of them. More than my sister and most of my friends anyways.

Anyways, so I didn't know any of the three bands that would be playing at this concert, but like the day before my friend texted me asking me to go with her, even though I don't think she knew a lot about the bands playing either. She's just like me, and loves to go to concerts. Anyway so she had two tickets but no one to go with so she asked me, and I'm SO GLAD I went because now I'm like a crazy obsessed Carney fan. They've only released one album but it is SO GOOD.

Here is their myspace: http://www.myspace.com/carney
I was just listening to an interview they did with NPR, which is why I was thinking about them and just decided to blog about them. (the interview if you're curious: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128668128)
But seriously I really think you (whoever you are) should check them out

That's all I have to say today I think, so good bye. Time to read. See you, blog, tomorrow (kind of) :D

Days 5+6- WHAT am I even TALKING about

haha soo... I didn't do a post yesterday. sorry.

And that's because, I fell asleep reading. Okay so I DID finish that horrible book when I said I would, and then yesterday I started the other book that I have to read for AP English. It's basically about the First Amendment and the history of the freedom of speech/press in the US. So far I actually like it, a WHOLE lot better than the liked the other book anyways. The thing is all day yesterday I had so much trouble actually concentrating on the book. I just wouldn't stop THINKING, until it got to be like 11 (so EARLY for me) and I had read a grand total of about 30 pages in a couple hours and I just fell asleep on top of my book.

Four hours later I woke up, looked at the clock, realized vaguely I didn't do my BEDA post, and then decided to go back to sleep. I could tell my body was exhausted, but for some reason I could NOT go back to sleep. I laid there for like an HOUR, with my body asleep (if that makes sense), but not my head. Not being able to sleep is normal for me (I don't have very healthy sleeping habits), but then even after I fell asleep it was like I still wasn't asleep.

It was like the whole night I was drifting in and out of vividly dreaming and being awake. Like, I'd be dreaming but be awake and then I'd really wake up and then I'd be dreaming again. And when I finally woke up for real and got out of bed I felt like I hadn't gotten any rest at all, like I had been awake all night. And I could remember all of the dreams, without struggling to remember at all. It's kind of been like this for about the past week.

Anyways, enough of that. Today, I played piano! I used to take lessons and actually practice and stuff when I was elementary school, but eventually I got too busy with school and dance and so I stopped. I can still play, but I'm not very good. Occasionally I'll go to the piano and just play around but I don't regularly practice or anything. And I only like to play when no one else is home. I'm not sure why.

Anyways so I have sheet music from the Chamber of Secrets movie so today I decided to teach myself one of the songs. I went painstakingly slow, but I think I actually made some progress! I'll practice more tomorrow when I'm home alone again.

For the past couple of weeks Kelly's and my textbooks have been trickling in, a sad reminder that school is almost here. Two more weeks, and I still have a lot of homework to do. Oohhh shit. Aside from the work though, I find myself just a little bit excited for school. Which is weird, because I do NOT like school. It's just that first week that's always a little exciting, because it's different. But after the first week... the newness wears off and the only thing left is HOMEWORK.

Agenda for tonight- read, eat, and read some more. I have to finish this book by Monday, I've decided. Because after that I have two weeks left, in which I have APES (AP environmental science) work to do and this crazy long and intimidating APUSH (AP US history) book to read. yaaay procrastination. Seriously though, I even procrastinate in things I LIKE doing (this blog is the perfect example). And also I like going completely go off topic. So I'm just going to end here before this post is even LONGER even more full of useless information. Um. Bye.

:D

Day 4- Short and sweet

I don't have much to say today I think.

Today, I saw Charlie St Cloud. It was... ehh. Not too bad. Parts of it were good, but I wasn't blown away. It was nice to get to stare at Zac Efron for two hours, just saying :D

Also- I bought jeggings. Not something I ever thought I would do. But you know what? They're not that bad. They're quite comfortable, and they don't look bad (at least my sister and I didn't think so)

Right now I'm just listening to Tom Milsom, putting off the things I'm still planning on doing tonight. Also- I didn't finish that book that I said I was going to finish last night. I did, however, make a LOT of progress. I only have one more chapter, which I swear I'm going to read tonight.

Random awesome video:


Okay so basically I just discovered this guy today (thanks to sxephil) and he is AWESOME. All of his videos are so great. Seriously, if anyone is reading this, check this channel out. You'll be glad you did.

Day 3- this STUPID BOOK

haha sooo... it's currently 11:50 pm. oops. again.

Umm sooo... this day has been pretty uneventful. I don't have dance or anything else for the next couple weeks, so I'm trying to actually get the work done that I need to get done before school starts again.

Like reading this book. Thiss stupid, stupid book that I HATE.

It's about advertising. Basically the author is just complaining about how it ruins lives and brainwashes people and blah blah blah and I'm just tired of it. It's only a little over 300 pages but it's taking me SO LONG to read because I can't stand it. I feel like I've been reading for a thousand pages, over and over and over. And I mean, the book was written 11 years ago. If the book wasn't all about media, that wouldn't matter very much. But a lot has happened in media since 1999. Ugh whatever. I just can't stand this book.

I'm nervous for when it comes time to 'discuss' it in english class when school starts. I want to say what I think about it (why I hate it basically) but I'm scared of being shot down by other classmates, and worst of all, my teacher.

See, I'm going to be in AP English, and I'm going to have this teacher that I'm reeeeeeally excited about having. I've been excited to have him since freshman year (he teaches all of the juniors). I got into AP at like the last second basically, talking to him and some other teachers during finals week to try and change to AP, even though it's one of the hardest classes at my school. I really want to impress this teacher, so I'm scared of saying the wrong thing about this book. But if I don't say anything, then I won't make any impression at all. Also, I shouldn't be trying to make an impression anyways. Whatever, I don't know.

haha ANYWAYS, point is, I have like 70 more pages of this book and I'm determined to finish it tonight, because I'm really behind everything I have to do before school starts again.

sidenote: I miss VidCon. I can't believe that was almost a MONTH ago. Those were seriously like some of the best days of my life. *sigh*